From this moment forward, it has been decreed that any and all football fans who refer to the professional football team from Washington DC as the “Redskins” shall be publicly shamed as racists—especially since you’ve been doing it for (insert your age here) or are a Hog. There will be no atonement. No redemption. You shall be saddled with eternal guilt and damnation befitting murderers and satanists.

Enjoy your E-ticket on the new politically correct ride to hell, you heartless, racist bastards.